You'd think there must be something that people get from being grumpy, because some days, there's an awfully lot of grumpiness going around.

Earlier this week, I asked what we get by depreciating appreciation. Today I posed a related question to dava money, M.Ed., co-developer of The Authenticity Series© and the e-zine, Still Motion (http://www.stillmotionmag.com). In part one of her interview (below), she explains and reframes grumpy moods.

Carol: What's so good about being grumpy? Do some people get something out of being negative?

dava: There are times that feeling grumpy may be a good thing.

Grumpiness can be evidence of an active learning process.  When we are learning something, we go through a period of dissonance which can be acutely uncomfortable and lead to grumpiness or irritability.  We can experience that dissonance emotionally, cognitively or behaviorally.  For example, if we have stopped a bad habit and feel proud, but keep thinking of ourselves as defined by that habit, our thinking has lagged behind.  Unchanged, that thinking will eventually affect our feelings and behavior, possibly leading to a relapse into the old habit.  We need to allow our thoughts to realign with our new behavior and feelings.  That may require us to tolerate a period of discomfort.  Recognizing the process as part of our learning curve allows us to do that with greater grace and ease.

Grumpiness can also be a part of a personal alarm system.  Anger helps define our personal boundaries.  Although less intense than anger, grumpiness may indicate that our boundaries are being infringed upon subtly or even chronically.  If our grumpiness helps us recognize that and establish healthy limits, it is a good thing.

All of our emotions are a barometer of how well we are living our dreams.  If we are less than content, our feelings are demonstrating that we have steered off course.  The more intense the feelings, the more off course we may be.  Mild grumpiness may suggest we need to reassess our course and map out a direction correction.  If we are chronically grumpy to the point it has become a personality characteristic, then we have probably been off track for a long time and may need to take some significant time to assess what our passions and dreams are and how to reach them.  Being grumpy may not feel good, however it is good in pointing out that we need some change.

In part two of her article (coming this weekend), dava provides some possible antidotes to grumpy moods (without dipping into a quart of ice cream).

Visit dava’s web site, www.mainstreetchi.com.  .